"Stall, Deny and Hope They Die": The VA's Unwritten Policy
Pictured is Denise. She is at Robins Air Force Base. Why? She is picking up her VA spousal ID. The problem? She is picking it up some 20+ years late. You see, Denise’s husband died of Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma (NHL) in July of 1996. As a Vietnam Veteran, her benefits were a done deal? Right. That whole presumptive thing? Just ask Mr. Nehmer. Well, if you are reading this, you probably know that the story isn’t that simple. However, what you probably won’t believe is that it took Denise over 20, yes 20, years, to finally obtain a Judge’s order granting her DIC benefits. I personally know of no other person who has litigated a case that long against the VA—continuously. She has to be a contender for the top 5. Denise calls her case "Stall, Deny and Hope They Die": - The VA's Unwritten Policy, and she wrote a book to tell you all about it!
Beyond the BBQ: Service and Success This Independence Day
Jeff came to me in January of 2024. He is one of those types of guys where when you hear what all he has done, you immediately know his awards and decorations spill over into box 18 of the ole DD-214. First a Marine, then a pararescueman. You don’t see that combo-box every day. Jeff recently got a full Board grant for everything but the kitchen sink. It will make celebrating this Fourth of July that much better for him. While Jeff’s active-duty days may be over, the spirit he embodies is alive and well, and very fitting for a Fourth of July story.
VA Benefits for Camp Lejeune Family Members?
If you ever hear someone tell you they know everything about the VA, you can safely grab your hat and head for the door. The VA is the second largest federal agency, soon to surpass the size of the DoD. There are literally hundreds of benefit programs available. Programs range from disability compensation, education benefits, to home loans. Are they all limited to Veterans? What about Camp Lejeune family members? One thing I love about this job is the number of niche areas within an already niche area of law. The Camp Lejeune Family Member Program is one of those. One I had no idea about.
The Rest of the Story: Annette’s Side of Things
I began pestering Annette just before Thanksgiving for some pictures of her and Monte. When I explained what I was up to, she said she didn’t mind if I used their names. I was delighted. The amount of lives you touch doing this grows rapidly. It always brings me joy to share some of these stories. You heard my side of representing Annette in my Thanksgiving post. Now, Annette gives us “the rest of the story”.
A Deserving Widow’s Thanksgiving Just got Better
It’s hard to believe another year has almost came and went. Another year representing the best people America has to offer. For me, I still get that same sense of awe and wonder. The fact that I am allowed to represent so many fine Veterans, widows, and families, across the country, brings me so much joy. Each with a unique story. This Thanksgiving, I have been able to help make one wife’s Thanksgiving a little bit easier.
Why I’m Still on a Mission
When I met Denise, she had one of the oldest appeals within the VA. Frankly, I didn’t believe a lot of what she was telling me. That is, until I began to see for myself the endless state of denials she had been in. This story takes you through my representation of her and ultimately, victory.
Looking for something specific?
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Board of Veterans' Appeals
- Aug 22, 2025 DOGE Alert: My $1,000 appeal Cost the Government $15,000 Aug 22, 2025
- Jul 3, 2025 Beyond the BBQ: Service and Success This Independence Day Jul 3, 2025
- Apr 18, 2025 Life in the Fast Lane Apr 18, 2025
- Dec 11, 2024 VA Benefits for Camp Lejeune Family Members? Dec 11, 2024
- Dec 4, 2024 The Rest of the Story: Annette’s Side of Things Dec 4, 2024
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CAVC
- Oct 22, 2025 Court Denies VA’s Request to Stay Pending Cases Oct 22, 2025
- Jun 13, 2025 Out of the Trenches, Into the Sea Jun 13, 2025
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Camp Lejeune Family Member Program
- Dec 11, 2024 VA Benefits for Camp Lejeune Family Members? Dec 11, 2024
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DIC
- Dec 4, 2024 The Rest of the Story: Annette’s Side of Things Dec 4, 2024
- Nov 27, 2024 A Deserving Widow’s Thanksgiving Just got Better Nov 27, 2024
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Survivor's Benefits
- Oct 31, 2025 "Stall, Deny and Hope They Die": The VA's Unwritten Policy Oct 31, 2025
- Dec 4, 2024 The Rest of the Story: Annette’s Side of Things Dec 4, 2024
- Nov 27, 2024 A Deserving Widow’s Thanksgiving Just got Better Nov 27, 2024
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VA Idiocracy
- Aug 22, 2025 DOGE Alert: My $1,000 appeal Cost the Government $15,000 Aug 22, 2025
- Nov 23, 2024 BVA Declares War on Most Severe Veterans Nov 23, 2024
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Victories
- Oct 31, 2025 "Stall, Deny and Hope They Die": The VA's Unwritten Policy Oct 31, 2025
- Jul 3, 2025 Beyond the BBQ: Service and Success This Independence Day Jul 3, 2025
- Dec 11, 2024 VA Benefits for Camp Lejeune Family Members? Dec 11, 2024
- Dec 4, 2024 The Rest of the Story: Annette’s Side of Things Dec 4, 2024
- Nov 27, 2024 A Deserving Widow’s Thanksgiving Just got Better Nov 27, 2024
- Nov 23, 2024 Why I’m Still on a Mission Nov 23, 2024


While the Washington Post has been busy publishing hit piece after hit piece on Veterans, my friends and I have been busy continuing to fight for you fine folk. On the flip side of things, the other W.P.—Washington Politicians, seem to have a "gift" ready for everyone to celebrate Veteran’s day—a budget! How nice of them. Imagine this. You’re waiting on the VA to get your claim right so you can get the bank off your back. The VA denied your VR&E appeal, saying you are too disabled to go back to work (no duh). So, you just don’t have any money coming in. You call up the bank and say sorry, you will just have to wait. The wife and I just can’t agree on a budget right now! How long do you think the bank is waiting? I doubt they are waiting some forty-one plus days. The good news? After Turkey Day is over, it looks like we are going to get to do this whole thing over again on January 30, 2026. To me, fall is the best. College football, hockey, bonfires, getting together with family. Of course, Veteran’s Day, Thanksgiving. The two days go like peas and carrots.